Breaking Dawn

I'm drinking a warm cup of tea as I listen to worship music on Pandora. Kari Jobe's "I am not Alone" came on and all I could do was sit in quiet reflection. With everything going on around me, I should feel overwhelmed. I'm sitting in the eye of the storm but I am in perfect peace because I know that I am not alone. He is with me, guiding me and calming the raging sea. The phrase "it's always darkest before dawn" is so true, because it feels so heavy right before God bursts through. His light breaks forth and radiates everything around it. He showers us with His love and even though we may not know or understand why he calls us to endure such things, there is always a purpose to it. I feel something rising up inside me- an anticipation of something to come that I'm not quite sure of. That He is going to call me to something more difficult than I've ever endured.  I have to trust that He is there before me and behind me and beside me as I walk through what is going to be the most difficult period of my life.

I haven't blogged in almost three years. My life has been nothing short of chaos, growth and change. Great things have been happening in our family and blogging has essentially taken a back burner. I just re-read my last post. What's fascinating to me is the content. I wrote of the potters clay, a marred jar being transformed by God's amazing hands. I had no clue what was in store for me in the next few years. Shortly after that post, our precious Maddox was born. I don't broadcast his medical needs- Not many people are aware of the mountains we've had to overcome in his short life. In praying for him over the last few days, I kept asking God to give me a verse for him. God's timing is so perfect in that He brings me full circle to where He started. A verse that He used to heal my brokenness, He's using to remind me of His faithfulness in Maddox's life.
Jeremiah 18:4 "But the pot he was shaping was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him".
What may look like a disability in the world's eyes- that Maddox may never "contribute" to society in a "meaningful" way- God sees as a treasure. A beautiful pot that He gently reconstructed because of His love and tenderness. I may not know what God has in store for him, but He is aware of the plans for Maddox's life. Isaiah 55:8-9, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts". That is my where my hope rests.